Wanting and loving are words that we normally
use without clearly understanding their meaning and what to say each of these
words implies because although we sometimes believe they are similar, there is
a great difference between wanting and loving.
When we understand the language we use, it
becomes a tool to express what we truly feel. If we say that we want or that we
love a person, are we saying what that person really makes us feel? That is why
it is essential that we know the difference between love and love, we explain
it to you.
What does it mean to want?
In our couple relationships appear a series of
intense feelings towards the other person that are transformed and, in this
sense, defining the difference between wanting and loving someone. This is why
we often confuse these two words, so let's begin by defining each of the
feelings.
The RAE defines wanting as "to desire or
pretends [something]" and "to feel affection or love for
[someone]
". They also define want as a verb meaning "to have the desire,
the will or the intention to do, to possess or achieve something". If we
take these definitions we can highlight some fundamental concepts to understand
what it means to want: wanting implies a feeling of affection or love added to
the desire and willingness to own something, or, in the case of relationships,
to someone.
When we started a love relationship , we went
out a couple of times and we are starting our stage of falling in love and
defining the relationship, the feeling that appears is to love. At this moment,
we know that there is a feeling higher than normal towards that person and that
we want it in the sense of possession of this word.
That is, we want that person who accelerates our
heart is ours, ve their company, their attention, their affection, and that
feeling towards the other person becomes a kind of goal; Here lies the
difference between wanting and loving.
As the book The Little Prince explains, "to
want is to take possession of something, of someone. It is looking for others
that fulfill the personal expectations of affection, of the company. To want is
to do ours what does not belong to us, is to own us or wish something to
complete us, because at some point we recognize ourselves ".
What does it mean to love?
Now, let's give meaning to the word love. You
will see that, with the two definitions, you yourself will realize the
difference between wanting and loving.
The RAE defines the verb love as "having a
love for someone or something". A very specific definition that leads us
to look for another meaning: what is love? According to the RAE, love is
"an intense feeling of the human being who, starting from his own
insufficiency, needs and seeks the encounter and union with another
being". A "feeling towards another person who naturally attracts us
and who, seeking reciprocity in the desire for union, completes us, makes us
happy and gives us the energy to live together, communicate and create" or
"feeling of affection, inclination, and dedication to someone or
something".
Then, under these definitions we can highlight
the concepts that define loving someone: when we love our partner, we have
stopped wanting that person to be ours and in total freedom of both, we
surrender to her because we need her, because we generate an encounter and a
bond of union that completes us and that makes us happy. Amar builds with time
and happens when we have overcome that stage of falling in love in which we
love each other.
The 4 differences between wanting and loving
someone
Now that we have defined love and love, you
already know its main difference, however, we will go into more detail in this
difference so that, if you do not know if you want or love your partner, you
have a series of indications that will help you to define it.
1. Wanting and loving mean something different
When we want a person we feel affection towards
her a little stronger than normal and we have a feeling of possession, we want
it to be ours. When we love that person, we no longer want it to be ours, we
need it and we give ourselves to it.
2. The signs of wanting or loving are different
You can also realize the difference between
wanting and loving from the signs. If you are experiencing all the signs of
falling in love , that is, you urgently need to see that person all the time,
you are waiting for the mobile at every minute to know about it and what it is
doing, you have a high sexual desire, your judgment is doubtful and you make
decisions more lightly; these and others are signs of wanting a person .
On the other hand, if what you feel is absolute
trust and loyalty towards that person, patients in each one's time, you are
willing to make sacrifices for her, to think about her needs, you have the will
to accept everything from her and from Fix the differences that may arise, then
we are talking about you love that person.
3. Wanting and loving does not feel the same
There are other types of feelings around wanting
or loving that can also tell us what we truly feel for the person we are with.
In principle we can associate a feeling of
euphoria to the stage in which we want that person, that kind of excitement and
that smile on the face that does not erase us, that brings with it falling in
love and that can make us think that we love the other person although this is
not real yet. But feelings of anxiety may also appear, or of emptiness
depending on how the relationship with this person develops.
Emotions are deeper when we love because we feel
much more free to let those feelings surface. Affection, trust, stability,
happiness, and loyalty are a fundamental part of loving. We accept the other as
he is and as he is, that's why love is unconditional. In addition, at this time
there is communication between the two and desire to face as a couple the problems
that may arise.
4. Temporality is different
It may seem a bit strange to you, but
temporality is also part of the difference between wanting and loving. In
wanting, time is now, it is the immediate moment in which we are falling in
love and that, in some cases, can start quickly. The truth is that wanting does
not always evolve and it is a temporary feeling that can disappear.
With love is different, it is a process that
gradually takes place over time. You do not need the immediate moment because when
you love, you have already overcome that stage of falling in love, and it is a
feeling that grows over time and can even last a lifetime. Of course, it is
clear that nobody knows what the future holds but in your present, you feel
that unconditional love as an infinite love that can not do anything but
continue to grow.
